Hold On, The Light Will Come!
First of all, thanks for all the wonderful sentiments for Annette. What a wonderful comfort they've been in this time of grief.
I've been going through one of the toughest times of my life. I have a continual ache in the depths of my soul. It's hard seeing a best friend go through such a sorrowful time. The funeral for Spencer McKay Mortensen will be this weekend here in Utah. I asked Anna Bryce, a very talented 17-year-old gal, to draw a portrait of McKay to display at the service. Although Anna's never met McKay, when I saw her drawing, my mouth dropped to the ground. She captured him in such a perfect way--and it looks exactly like him.
I got this portrait late Tuesday night and put it on the mantle to take to the frame shop the next day. Yesterday morning, after a terrible night's sleep, I woke up in a very sad mood. I began to go about my morning routine--making breakfast, packing sack lunches, cleaning the kitchen--still not able to shake the mood. I put on one of my favorite CDs, "Be Thou an Example," and the lyrics to the third song just kinda hit me:
"Leave Better"
by Benton Paul
Show me a world
Without so much hurt
And I will fly like the wind to it.
Show me a place
All filled with grace
And I will strive to get to it.
When we get through all this
We can have all we wish
Chorus:
Leave better all that you find
So, live in this world with a smile.
Let's not complain and say who's to blame
But rather do something about it.
Let's not look back at all that we lack
But rather prove that we can change it.
When we get through all this
We can have all we wish.
I've seen a lot of things in this life
That leave me falling hopeful inside
That's why I want to stand today and say
Leave better all that you
Leave better all that you
Leave better all that you find.
Just as the song was finishing, I looked over at McKay's portrait and a perfect stream of light was resting on his beautiful face and never-ending smile. I felt peace knowing McKay is in a better place. . . I felt joy remembering McKay's infectious smile . . . I felt happy knowing that McKay left this world better than he found it . . . I felt courage that our Savior will help Annette, Spencer, Becky and Megan get through this and help me know where to best serve this family.
Just wanted to share this powerful experience.
On a different note, our family had a wonderful weekend. Last Friday, we were privileged to got to Nellis Air Force Base in Las Vegas for an air show. We were lucky enough to go on Friday for the practice show. Two other families in our neighborhood also went and the Janiecs know Jason Forest, a pilot who flew an F-15 plane in the air show. Afterward, he took us on a private tour of several of the aircrafts.
Okay--so the show was simply one of the most amazing things I've ever witnessed. If you live near an Air Force base, you must go to one of these spectacular events.
It was surely a sight to behold!
And this was my favorite sight to behold. We are all going to miss this kid. He's been so busy tackling "to do" lists around the house before he leaves for North Carolina on January 20th. Really a sweetheart!
Have a great weekend--and whatever you do, do it with a smile!
Lisa
16 Comments:
As always, thank you for the reminders and inspiration to keep moving forward with faith and hope, regardless of the situations life puts us in--as challenging as they may be.
Bryan M.
I'm praying for you lisa (an Annette and family of course). What a beautiful email you wrote...I had goose bumps the whole time. I can't believe the talent Anna has in per portaits/drawing. I certainly hope she is planning on a career in art :). She is so young and talented. Do you think she would ever consider doing drawings for someone she doesn't even know??? I'd be willing to pay.
valbunge at hotmail dot com
That drawing is truly amazing and what a "tender mercy" for you to hear that song while looking at the portrait of McKay. God Bless.
Aw, Lisa--what a wonderful friend she has in you! Praying their family is finding faith in Jesus Christ will give them strength to cope in hard times today and give them assured hope and a sense of peace for the future. Hang in there!!!
p.s. we LOVE air shows!!! Just saw the Blue Angels a few weekends ago-they SO ROCK!!!
Lisa, my friend, I understand your feeling. It's been a heart-wrenching week.
I met Annette when she moved to my neighborhood in 3rd grade. I can't even count the sleepovers I had at her house. She's in every birthday party picture I have through high school. (Our birthdays are one day apart, so we kind of shared that week.) Her mom even helped us buy our lot when we moved back to Utah in 2001.
In 1991, just before we moved to Florida, I went to park with her when she was pregnant with McKay. She just had little Becky and I took Jessica and Belinda. Being the excessively-experienced mom of two for a whole year, I felt quite honored to be able to explain the intricacies of having TWO WHOLE KIDS. You know, to prepare her for what was to come!
Wow, wasn't life simple back then.
Thanks for posting this. I've been sick all week. Wanted to post something on one of my blogs (MormonMomma.com) but not sure if I could put it into words. You did a wonderful job.
And what a cute pic of Paula, Annette, and you. I love you all.
Before I stop rambling, that is an amazing picture. Just beautiful. I'm sure it will be cherished.
Much love.
Very touching, Lisa. Thanks for sharing with us.
God always knows just what we need and cares about our pain. He is our refuge in the storms of life.
You and Annette are in my prayers. God bless.
My nephew (Jesse W.) just left for his mission a few weeks ago and on his way to the MTC his grandma passed away. She went into the hospital on a Saturday and had passed away on Wednesday. It's so sad to watch someone you care about have to go through so many trials. By the way Kade knows him. I like the way a friend of mine put it. She said it is their light that we will miss the most.
Praying for the family! What a beautiful young man!!
Thanks for the song Lisa - the words are so touching. We lost a loved one way to young this summer. It's hard! Can I recommend the book "90 minutes in Heaven" - - someone gave it to us at the visitation and it brought comfort.
The Air Show looks AWESOME! We got to see the Blue Angels one time - SO impressive!
God Bless!
So sorry to hear about your friend's son passing. May God give her family comfort at this time!
I was also wondering if you had an update on Spencer Hardy? I've been thinking about him.
Thanks!
Amy in CA
Lisa,
You bring tears and smiles to my face at the same time. You truly have a gift from God and for that I am Thankful for. Have a Blessed Thanksgiving! I wish I were lucky enough to grow up in Utah and have you for a friend.
I want to send you a Christmas card. Where can I mail it to?
Hugs,
Colleen
What a great drawing! and the song is definately something to live by!
When we were on vacation this summer we had the opportunity to see the Blue Angels fly in Pensacola, FL---it was amazing and definately one of the high lights of our trip. WE got to go inside (IT WAS SO HOT THAT DAY) after the show and the pilots did a meet and greet and autographs. AMAZING!
What an amazing talent to capture someones true essence on paper like she did with the portret. Thank you for sharing the experience you had with this song, it is beautiful. Wishing you and your friend Annette and both your families lots of strength for the funeral this weekend and for the times ahead.
Sweet boy!! My heart aches for Annette and her family. :(
Hi Lisa...I'm so sorry for your friends loss....so tragic. I loved your Air show photos. My daughter is not in the Air Force but she Navy Air Crew and scheduled to return home from deployment in Iraq in 2 weeks. We are counting the days till her safe return. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
he looks just like her.
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